Halloween: Foxes and Fails.

Halloween has come and gone.  Children have eaten their weight in candy pilfered from their neighbors and their parents have used their limited creativity to dress as sluts or cartoon characters from years past, all on, arguably, one of the worlds most interesting holidays.

With due diligence I have scoured the internet to find the good, the bad and the ugly.

 

FAIL:   If your over 10 and still need a ridiculous amount of padding you'll look as bad as this bunch.   And velvet Batwoman? That's just guaranteeing some nerds gonna try to pet you.  I wont even comment on the spiderman...

 

FAIL:  Here is where the ridiculous amount of padding would actually work... instead this guy decided to go for the kidney failure look...  and what's worse?  He's got his shit kickers on.

 

FAIL:   This guy looks more like a garden slug...  which in his defense is exactly what the digitally added Jabba looked like int he extended release of New Hope.  Could you pick a worse star wars costume? At least Jar Jar could be funny.

FAIL:  Spencer and Heidi...  This just makes me want to throw this jack off a beatin even more, but again...  both of them have too much padding....

FAIL:  with this body type...  spandex is just wrong...  besides...  there are better comic characters that would be perfect for this guy...  Blob, Mojo, maybe even Mr. Incredible.

 WIN:  This is one of the best Alien costumes I've ever scene.

FAIL:  Come on dude...  I can see the tape.

FAIL:  And the winner of the cheapest costume ever goes to....   (note:  Repulsor beams are lite blue dumb ass.)

FAIL:  This is so much creepier than it is nostalgic....  I do like how it looks like each of them has been hot in the mouth with a ninja sword.

FAIL:  Uhm hello...  no such thing as a plaid elephant...  tell your mom and dad to lay off the psych-drugs

FAIL!!!!   Why does Captain America have two dicks and a shield the size of a frisbee?

WIN!  This is actually pretty awesome...  and yesm it makes me want to ruin the roof of my mouth with never-ending bowls of Peanutbutter Captain Crunch.

WIN:  When I first saw this I thought...  dang.  How did that guy pull that off..  then I noticed it's a dog, not a pony.  And the hooves are awesome.

FAIL:  Pokemon + trailer park = vomit in my mouth.

WIN.  Holy SHIT!  This is the creepiest thing I may have ever seen...  Stay puff is bad enough, but the misshapen head and the fact he's obviously shit faced makes this a waking nightmare.

WIN:  Ok.  Shield is the right size...  and I don't mind the padding.  Nevermind there is no such character.

Win:  Hulk and She hulk....   even though this is incestuous I kind of like it, velvet hands and all...  It also makes me wonder how she wore the paint off her hands.

Fail:  Hey cheap ass, that kids batman mask is way too small, and the Robin costume only works if your going for Sheldon as Robin, and that would never happen.  Plus shouldn't the taller one be batman?

Fail:  Turtles were lame in 1992...  18 years later makes it just sad.

 

Fail:  Worst Tennage Mutant Ninja Turltes costume ever.

 Win:  Ok, I admit, that at least the first Venom was a dude, but this one is just more classy...  high heels and no straps...  I like to imigine how this costume would fair in a real fight.

Win:  Ah, my favorite thing about Halloween...  hot girls can wear their underoos and you appreciate how much thought they put into their costume.